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School Excuses!

The truth can be stranger than fiction.
Funnier Too!

These are actual excuses school children have
brought in from their parents!

Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
(Wow where do they get their Calendars?)

Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday.
She was in bed with gramps.
(Guess Gramps was lonely!)

Please excuse Johnnie for being.
It was his father's fault.
(His mom didn't have Anything to do with it?)

Chris will not be in school because
he has an acre in his side.
(Chris must be a Big Boy!)

John has been absent because he had
two teeth taken off his face.
(How did the teeth get On his face?)

Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
(Guess nobody thought of asking the doctor to move!)

Lillie was absent from school
yesterday because she had a going over.
(A little harsh, don't you think?)

My son is under the doctor's care
and should not take fizical ed.
Please execute him.
(Wow, they just made kids sit on the bleachers
when I was in school!)

Carlos was absent yesterday
because he was playing football.
He was hit in the growing part.
(I bet it grew even more after it was hit!)

My daughter was absent yesterday
because she was tired.
She spent this weekend with the Marines.
(Bit young for Boot Camp, don't you think?)

Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday she fell off a tree
and misplaced her hip.
(Wonder where she put it?)

Please excuse Ray Friday from school.
He has very loose vowels.
(Another good reason to Stay in school!)

Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16,
because she had a fever, sore throat, headache,
and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
fever and sore throat, her brother
had a low-grade fever.
There must be the flu going around,
her father even got hot last night.
(Maryanne is going to have a
little brother or sister soon too!)

Please excuse Blanche from jim today.
She is administrating.
(A little young to be working don't you think?
And who is Jim?!)

George was absent yesterday
because he had a stomach.
(How come I never thought of this one?)

Ralph was absent yesterday
because he had a sore trout.
(Poor Fish!)

Please excuse Sara for being absent.
She was sick and I had her shot.
(Never heard of that treatment before!)

Please excuse Lupe.
She is having problems with her ovals.
(I always had problems with Rectangles myself!)

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Rich Cavanaugh
Fun D Mental.com

Gladwin, MI


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