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In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground
with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;
today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world
are those in front of you,
and the fastest are those behind.
A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard,
straight and not too often.
There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends,
play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Golf was once a rich man's sport,
but now it has millions of poor players.
An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice:
once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy
because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
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