Home | Games | Greets & FunPages | Tournament Bingo | Comedy! | Advertise with us!

Friends of FunDMental

Link to us!
and get a link back!

Questions? Comments?
Tell us what you think!

Your Banner could be here! Click for more Info!

Off-the-Wall things said by lawyers on actual Court Records Nationwide!

Justice isn't just Blind, sometimes it's Dumb too!

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
(He obviously wasn't talking to Michael Jackson!)

Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
(I Hope not!)

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
(Yes he Did!)

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
(It was Me!!)

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
(He's Five!)

Were you alone or by yourself?
(There was three of us, Me, Myself, and I!)

How long have you been a French-Canadian?
(About 6 months, before that I was Japanese!)

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
(I Have a couple Guppies, Does that count?)

Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
(Who do you think took the Picture?)

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
(No, I was at the IHOP eating Waffles!)

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
(Just Once!)

So you were gone until you returned?
(No, I'm still gone!)

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?
(No, They were orangotans!)

You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
(No, they were One Way stairs!)

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
(Good Comeback!)

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
(At least he didn't object!)

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you Moron, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
(Nuff Said!)

Bookmark and Share

More Fun Pages!

Fun D Mental!

Join our Mailing List!
Be the First to learn about New FunPages!
Get our Weekly Newsletter!
Join Now!

Join the FunDMental Newz!

Wow! We're Popular!

All Rights Reserved
Rich Cavanaugh
Fun D Mental.com

Gladwin, MI


Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape