Let's face it, Men love tools!
Of course we don't always know how to use 'em.
In case you're not up on all the terminology,
We've covered some of the basics!
- Hammer -
In ancient times a hammer was used to
inflict pain on one's enemies.
Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
- Screwdriver -
The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a
professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage
you did while trying to change out a light socket
with your handy screwdriver.
- Phillips Screwdriver -
The drink that you order when the
damage estimate is over $1,000.
(Contains twice the vodka.)
- Pliers -
A device used to extend your reach the necessary
few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw
down behind the new wall it took you
two weeks to install.
- Multi-Pliers -
Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools.
Best left in it's leather sheath and worn on
a homeowner's belt to increase testosterone levels.
- Electronic Stud Finder -
An annoying device that never goes off
when you point it at yourself.
- Halogen Light -
A work light that lights up your backyard
with the incandescence of a football stadium,
causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area
you're working on so that you need
to use a flashlight anyway.
- Cordless Drill -
A device that lessens your chance of electrocution
90% over a standard plug-in tool.
- Air Compressor -
A mechanical device similar in principal to
harnessing the power of your mother-in-law's
nagging complaints and using the resulting airflow
to blast old paint off the side of the house.
- Chainsaw -
Allows you to cut your way out of the shed
that you accidentally built completely around yourself.
- Cordless Telephone -
The handyman's 911.
If the women don't find you Handsome,
They should at least find you Handy!!