10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them
names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's
potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your
roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate,
just didn't belong."
9) Move everything to one side of the room.
Ask your roommate
if he knows how much
an elephant weighs, and look at the floor
on the empty side
of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose.
Make it bigger every
Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives.
Sharpen them every night. While you're
look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon.."
6) Collect hundreds of pens
and pile them on one side of the
Keep one pencil on the other side of the room.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you."
Then pretend to faint.
When you recover, say you can't remember
what the message was.
Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!"
Pretend to faint again.
Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out,
glue your shoes to the ceiling.
When your roommate walks in,
sit on the floor, hold your head,
3) Make a sandwich.
Don't eat it, leave it on the floor.
Wait until your roommate gets rid of it,
say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?"
that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell,
back!" as loud as you can
and dance around the room for five
Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies.
All of a sudden, act
throw the bowl on the floor and kick it.
to clean it up, explaining,
"No, I want to watch them suffer."