It's garage sale season!
That means you can find some awesome deals on
everything from Baby Clothes to Furniture!
But you have to be careful about what you buy.
Here are things to watch for
when purchasing a used sofa!
There's a large red tag on it marked
The cushions begin crawling away.
fabric on the back has been repaired with a "Rebel And Proud" bumper
The owner asks you to sign a waiver.
thought was powdered sugar from a donut appears to be moving.
It appears to have reached its present location by being dragged several
miles on its side.
The owner appears to be scratching himself
The owner seems reluctant to actually sit on
or touch it himself.
A tag on the back says "Property of Blessed
It has its own nickname.
More than a
dozen people know its nickname.
More than a hundred people know
its nickname from a story in the local paper.
Someone appears to have constructed a drink holder on the arm rest with a hacksaw, a
torch, and a glue gun.
There are mushrooms growing on the
It seems to generate its own heat.
protruding from the bullet holes.
There appears to be more duct tape than vinyl on the cushions.
It growls when you sit on it.
It has a faint smell of ammonia.
Integral parts of its structure have been replaced with a garden hoe, a flasher
barricade, and the drop gate from a railroad crossing.
The bottom is covered with asphalt and/or straw.
There's a coin
slot on the arm rest.
There are labels in various spots that
say "No Step".
The owner occasionally pauses to pick things off
of it and taste them.
It appears to have been spray-painted its
You hear scampering noises inside.
And One Last sign you should avoid that used Sofa;
The owner offers to throw in a free:
* can of Lysol
* can of
* fly swatter
* flea collar
* ant trap
* Mouse trap
* vial of
* All of the above!