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Tales from Tech Support!

Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was 'running it under Windows.'
The woman then responded, 'No, my desk is next to the door.
But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his is working fine.'

Tech Support: 'OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: 'I don't have a 'P'.'
Tech Support: 'On your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'What do you mean?'
Tech Support: ''P' on your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'I'm not going to do that!'

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: 'I'd like a mouse pad, please.'
Salesperson: 'Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.'
Customer: 'But will they be compatible with my computer?'

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax
the document back to the sender when I was finished with it,
because he needed to keep it.

Customer: 'Can you copy the Internet for me on this floppy disk?'

I work for a local ISP.
Frequently we receive phone calls that start something like this:
Customer: 'Hi. Is this the Internet?'

Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to 'The Internet.'

Customer: 'So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?'
Tech Support: 'Yeah.'
Customer: 'And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?'
Tech Support: 'Uhh...uh...uh...yeah.'

Tech Support: 'All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon.'
Customer: 'That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons
-- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to --'
Customer: 'I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file
cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?'
Customer: [click]

Customer: 'My computer crashed!'
Tech Support: 'It crashed?'
Customer: 'Yeah, it won't let me play my game.'
Tech Support: 'All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.'
Customer: 'No, it didn't crash -- it crashed.'
Tech Support: 'Huh?'
Customer: 'I crashed my game.
That's what I said before.
I crashed my spaceship
and now it doesn't work.'
Tech Support: 'Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.''
Customer: [pause] 'Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?'

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Rich Cavanaugh
Fun D Mental.com

Gladwin, MI


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